Leave it to me to get carried away with a hashtag. This Halloween I took the hashtag #UnusualHalloweenTraditions and just ran with it long after it stopped trending on Twitter. These are my new favorite Halloween traditions:

• Caroling for Cthulhu
• Mock witch trial
• Mock trail for a human soul
• Deck the halls with entrails
• The family autopsy
• The family game of Ouija board Twister
• Leaving snakes in public toilets
• The blessing of the candies by heretics
• Setting up the manger scene for Rosemary’s baby
• Kissing beneath the missing human toes
• Leaving milk and cookies for the cenobites
• Reading the Sumerian book of the dead to sick children
• The pouring of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes to honor our fallen homies

• Placing the pentagram on top of the tree
• Singing “Must be Satan” to the kids
• Making gingerbread bogeymen
• Chanting Bloody Marry in public urinals
• Family portraits in front of Slender Man
• Tracheostomy or treating
• The Easter Bunny hunt
• Giving out last year’s Christmas candy
• Playing poker with Tarot cards
• Dying skulls pastel colors and dipping them in glitter
• Giving out finely aged Valentine’s Day hearts
• Carving a Jack-O-Lantern into a Thanksgiving turkey
• Zombie flash mob converging on an old folks home
• Sneaking into a local morgue and performing the thriller dance the moment a mortician is alone

• Assigning Secret Satan’s to taunt one another
• Starting an argument between a Ouija Board and a Magic 8-Ball
• Competitive taxidermy
• A pitch forks and torches relay race to the castle on the hill
• Fall of Lucifer reenactment from the YMCA high board
• Giving out tubes of toothpaste filled with fake blood
• Necronomicon book club
• Bobbing for organs
• Graveyard croquet
• Storming an old manner with a flash mob of Vincent Price-look-a-likes
• Posting anonymous obituaries for living people
• Calling phone random numbers and asking whoever picks up if they like scary movies
• Forcing the children to watch slasher movies then quizzing them on what the murder victims should’ve done
• Giving extreme home makeovers using buckets of blood and paint rollers