Audio Shorts, Blog, Multimedia, Music, Poems

The Writer’s Alibi (Audio Short)

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This is an idea that originated on Twitter. The Tweet went:

Turns out a lot of writers have had this thought. We’re a solitary lot. If some flatfoot thought we looked good for a crime they’d be grilling us for awhile. We’re the red herrings that are mistaken for piranhas. They’d see our calm demeanor as a mask to hide our neurosis. They’d see our quiet manner as a smoke screen for an underlying rage. They’d peg us as self-involved sociopathic narcissists.

They wouldn’t be too far from the truth.

Under the harsh interigation room lights, they’d make us tell our stories. They’d ask where our ideas came from. They’d ask, “What do you mean you let your characters tell the story? Do you hear voices? What else do they tell you to do?”

Tread very carefully when answering their questions. They’re not fans and you are not at a reading.

Tell them to check the date and time stamps in the meta data from your document files. Tell them to interview all those poor souls you’ve pushed your story on. Get your beta readers on the line, tell them you’re going to need a whole lot of feedback to get you off the hook for this one.

***

This is my fourth audio short to feature a soundtrack. These pieces are heavily influenced by the Ruby the Galactic Gumshoe a radio dramas from the 80s (worth your time).

I’m digging the contrast between the jazzy upright bass and the haunting ambient synth. It’s like beatneck poetry scored by Aphex Twin.

Now it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t take you for a stroll through the graveyard. Disembodied fingers walk the scale of a harpsichord, unearthed from the basment of an old manor, clogged with cobwebs, detuned by time.

Top that off with some knee slapping, finger snapping percusion.

I’m really proud of this piece. I’ve listened to it way too many times already.

The Writer’s Alibi

Another night staring out the window
Listening to the drunken parade
I’d hate to be accused of a crime
Because I wouldn’t have much of an alibi
Where was I?
What was I doing?
Typing away in my PJs
Trying to fill all the white on the page

This makes me the perfect patsy
The kind of guy that doesn’t surround himself with a lot witnesses
There’s no one to place me on the other side of town
Sometime between dusk and dawn
Where was I?
What was I doing?
Talking to my imaginary friends
Trying to jumpstart some character development

An interigation would do me no favors
Yes, those photographs are disturbing
No, I can’t prove that I wasn’t there
I thought it was your job to prove I was
Where was I?
What was I doing?
Ever spend the night scanning a document for the word “Decent”
Because you really meant “Descent?”

I have

Good cop asks
If I can give him the elevator pitch
Bad cop asks
If any of my characters resemble the victim
I plot murders, sure
What writer doesn’t
But I’m not responsible for any homicides in this world
The only thing I’m guilty of killing is time

Can I get my phone call?
Can I get a witness?
Brooding is not an alibi
Sulking is not an alibi
Where was I?
What was I doing?
You ever watch a time-lapse sunrise?
Imagine it with all the gaps filled in

2 thoughts on “The Writer’s Alibi (Audio Short)”

  1. E.V. Jacob – The Kingdom of Yr – E.V. Jacob is an artist some days, a scientist others, and a writer always. It's a wonder that she ever gets anything done, but based on the updates to her website, she can at least write blog posts on a fairly consistent basis. E.V. Jacob is still waiting for her superpowers to manifest, so in the meantime she drinks a lot of tea and writes a lot of words. She lives in Las Vegas, where she spends her time making velociraptor sounds. Dark Sentinels Book I, THE SHADOWS, published under the name Jacob Crawford, out now. https://tinyurl.com/y549c5d9
    Eve says:

    It doesn’t help that we’re always Googling things like “Quickest poisons” or “How to dispose of bodies.”

    Reply
    1. drewchial – When Drew Chial was very young, he found an attic hidden in his bedroom closet. He discovered it investigating an indentation in the ceiling, nudging it with a broom, until it fell inward. There was no stepladder for him to climb, so he scaled the shelves. Shining his flashlight, he found a long triangular hall, twice the length of his bedroom. Every surface was coated in pink insulation that made his skin itch. Creeping into the basement, Drew stole a sleeping bag that he unrolled on the attic floor. He set a tiny aluminum lock box on top of it. This is where he hid the things he wrote. Now Drew hides them in plain sight.
      drewchial says:

      If you have an iPhone, ask Siri, “What’s the best place to hide a body?” She’ll give you a pretty good answer.

      Reply

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