A poem about what it feels like when friends tell you just, “go for it” when you have a well informed fear of heartbreak.
Monthly Archives: February 2018
V for Valentinedetta
A Valentine’s Day poem inspired by that famous monologue from V for Vendetta.
How to Get Out of Conversations about Trump by Pitching Your Fiction
How many times has this happened to you: your friends invite you to the bar and you arrive to find an interloper sitting in your chair?
This man, with his half goatee and camouflage cap, sticks out amongst the artistic misfits you usually hang out with. He slams the table, drawing the attention of the wait staff. He enunciates the words ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, like an alien who’s read about laugher and mistaken the onomatopoeia for the real thing.
Your friends look to you with pleading eyes, hostages too scared to signal for help.
The interloper flashes you a nasty sneer, a wolf signaling that this is his deer carcass. When it’s clear you’re joining the table he stands for introductions.
“I should warn you I come with a trigger-warning.”
He doesn’t shake your hand so much as he yanks it by the wrist. He says his name is Tanner.
You have to ask, “So how do you know everyone?”
Tanner doesn’t. He was eavesdropping, interjected himself into the conversation, and played musical chairs until he sandwiched himself between the women. Your friends were just too Minnesota nice to get rid of him.
He’s your problem now. Continue reading How to Get Out of Conversations about Trump by Pitching Your Fiction
When Keeping it Real Online Goes Wrong
If you’ve ever researched making a name for yourself online then you’ve probably been told to build a brand, to simplify your complex personhood into a nuanced little niche that’s easy to digest. If you found yourself having trouble attracting an audience you’ve been told you need to be more authentic, share more of yourself, and get more real.
A lot of writers take this to mean they should chronicle their failures while attempting to make it as an author. Master Yoda does say, “The greatest teacher failure is.” Why not leverage yours to endear yourself to your readers?
But what happens when you volunteer too much information? What happens when your blog becomes your therapy cushion? What happens when you tell everyone your career is fraught with long bouts of depression, nights spent quivering on the floor of your apartment, running the bathroom fan so none of your neighbors can tell that you’re sobbing?
At what point does your depression become your brand? Continue reading When Keeping it Real Online Goes Wrong
The Words Got Him
I found this nasty little poem lurking in my archives. I thought better than to share it at the time I wrote it, but now, well… What the hell? I feel like living dangerously. I dare you to read it.
The Words Got Him
Inspiration struck
In the middle of the night
Then it just kept striking
It didn’t care who it hurt
Sylvia Plath counted sheep in the oven
Anne Sexton lost count in the garage
Virginia Woolf slipped on her favorite coat
And lined her pockets full of rocks
Hart Crane dove in after her
Spalding Gray dove in after him
Then inspiration just kept striking
Hemingway sat at the dinner table
And ate himself a shotgun
Hunter S. Thompson said,
“I’ll have what he’s having.”
Maybe Edgar Allen Poe
Just had a little too much laudanum
But maybe, just maybe
The words got him