Leave it to me to get carriedaway with a hashtag. This Halloween I took the hashtag #UnusualHalloweenTraditions and just ran with it long after it stopped trending on Twitter. These are my new favorite Halloween traditions:
Caroling for Cthulhu
Mock witch trial
Mock trail for a human soul
Deck the halls with entrails
The family autopsy
The family game of Ouija board Twister
Leaving snakes in public toilets
The blessing of the candies by heretics
Setting up the manger scene for Rosemary’s baby
Kissing beneath the missing human toes
Leaving milk and cookies for the cenobites
Reading the Sumerian book of the dead to sick children
The pouring of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes to honor our fallen homies
The following is the classic Cabin in the Woodshorror movie scenario from a slightly different perspective. Just imagine, what would happen if Ash from the Evil Deadseries was better at problem solving?
Evil Dead With A Cool Head
Once the captain of the Titanic ordered the lifeboats loaded no effort was made to save the ship. The task seemed too daunting. The first officer shut the watertight doors and the crew resigned themselves to their fate. Glug glug glug. It took two hours for the ship to sink. Two hours that could’ve been spent clogging the leaks with canvas sheets, mattresses, and rugs. Two hours to reduce the flow of water into the boiler rooms. Two hours to seal the forepeak scuttle hatch and prevent the forward bulkhead from sinking.
He was born on a Photoshop forum. The assignment was to add something supernatural to an unexceptional situation: a corporate meeting, a self help seminar, or a state fair.
I found a picture of a church picnic that was perfect. It took place in a field, there was a lot of space between the subjects, and the horizon was filled with evergreens. If viewers looked closely at the tops of the trees they’d see a figure in the canopy: a silhouette formed from the crisscrossing branches. A wooden giant poised to crash the gathering and have a picnic of his own. Continue reading Slender Man’s Rival→