Unusual Halloween Traditions

Leave it to me to get carried away with a hashtag. This Halloween I took the hashtag #UnusualHalloweenTraditions and just ran with it long after it stopped trending on Twitter. These are my new favorite Halloween traditions:

  • Caroling for Cthulhu
  • Mock witch trial
  • Mock trail for a human soul
  • Deck the halls with entrails
  • The family autopsy
  • The family game of Ouija board Twister
  • Leaving snakes in public toilets
  • The blessing of the candies by heretics
  • Setting up the manger scene for Rosemary’s baby
  • Kissing beneath the missing human toes
  • Leaving milk and cookies for the cenobites
  • Reading the Sumerian book of the dead to sick children
  • The pouring of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes to honor our fallen homies

Little Skeleton Woman

  • Placing the pentagram on top of the tree
  • Singing “Must be Satan” to the kids
  • Making gingerbread bogeymen
  • Chanting Bloody Marry in public urinals
  • Family portraits in front of Slender Man
  • Tracheostomy or treating
  • The Easter Bunny hunt
  • Giving out last year’s Christmas candy
  • Playing poker with Tarot cards
  • Dying skulls pastel colors and dipping them in glitter
  • Giving out finely aged Valentine’s Day hearts
  • Carving a Jack-O-Lantern into a Thanksgiving turkey
  • Zombie flash mob converging on an old folks home
  • Sneaking into a local morgue and performing the thriller dance the moment a mortician is alone

Decorating the Drew

  • Assigning Secret Satan’s to taunt one another
  • Starting an argument between a Ouija Board and a Magic 8-Ball
  • Competitive taxidermy
  • A pitch forks and torches relay race to the castle on the hill
  • Fall of Lucifer reenactment from the YMCA high board
  • Giving out tubes of toothpaste filled with fake blood
  • Necronomicon book club
  • Bobbing for organs
  • Graveyard croquet
  • Storming an old manner with a flash mob of Vincent Price-look-a-likes
  • Posting anonymous obituaries for living people
  • Calling phone random numbers and asking whoever picks up if they like scary movies
  • Forcing the children to watch slasher movies then quizzing them on what the murder victims should’ve done
  • Giving extreme home makeovers using buckets of blood and paint rollers

4 thoughts on “Unusual Halloween Traditions”

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